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7 Ways to Make Your Wedding Totally Drama-Free

The very last thing you hope will be present at your wedding is drama. Since weddings are a moment in people’s lives where the majority of people they know come together to celebrate them, drama can seep through and come out to play, especially if it already exists between certain groups of people.

If you’re looking to take action before your big day arrives to make sure that your wedding is 100% drama free, here are seven things you can work on doing as soon as possible.

A Strategic Seating Chart

Spend quality time with your fiancé by identifying the people who you feel should stay away from each other at the wedding. Make sure certain groups of people are seated far away from each other, or if they have to be at the table, tell other people at the table to work hard to make sure they keep their peace with one another. If you’re eager to make sure you have eyes and ears on all the drama with your friends and family members, ask a few of them to let you know if there are any specific people you should separate, so you know what drama is alive and well before your wedding day comes around.

A Plethora of Activities

Keep your guests busy. The less time they have to sit around a hotel with one another brainstorming things they can do to keep busy before the wedding the less time they will have to stir up drama. Set them up with an itinerary of places they can go around the local town and activities they can chose if they want to add a little more action into their weekend plans.

Someone to Manage Your Phone

You will notice that on your wedding weekend, even though you gave your guests a full itinerary and instructions for where to be and when, they will still be hitting up your phone with questions galore. Pass your phone over to someone you trust so that they can manage the incoming texts and calls without you getting frustrated.

A Hiding Spot

You and your fiancé should have a designated hiding spot in your wedding venue that you two can go to for some quiet alone time. If drama does happen at your wedding or you just feel like it would be a good time to have a chat with your fiancé, having a pre-planned secret spot to meet will make it easier for you to communicate on the day-of.

Extra Communication with Your Partner

Even if there’s drama happening around you with your friends and family members, be sure to make a pact with your fiancé that you two will make sure the day is drama-free for one another. Talking about potential issues before they happen on the wedding day is the best way to make sure nothing gets in between you two on the most special day ever.

Warning Chats with Your Problematic Guests

If you and your fiancé already have a list of people you are crossing your fingers will behave at your wedding and not stir up any drama, it’s worth it to have a conversation with them before the big day. Ask them nicely to not start any problems with people or to bring up unresolved situations with other guests that may also be present. In addition to asking them not to do or say certain things, give them a friendly reminder of how much this day means to you and your fiancé and their support would mean the world.

A Care-Free Attitude

The final thing you and your fiancé can do to make sure that neither of you are bogged down by wedding drama is to adopt a care-free attitude. Accept that drama might flood your wedding and if it does, you won’t let it get to you or stop you from having the kind of night both of you deserve. But it doesn’t mean that the day after the wedding, you can’t lose your cool on the guests that decided to make your wedding feel like an episode of The Real Housewives.

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Choosing Your Bridesmaids and Groomsmen

While the two of you are the most important people at a wedding, half the fun is being able to celebrate and anticipate your big day with your closest friends by your side serving as bridesmaids and groomsmen. While you might think you can just grab your friends, assign them a bridal title, and call it a day, there are a few other things you’ll want to consider before you assemble your wedding party. Our experts have five key tips that will help you choose your bridesmaids and groomsmen—and make sure your wedding party is one for the ages!

Start With Siblings

Including your siblings is the perfect way to start choosing your bridesmaids and groomsmen. If they’re much younger, you may prefer to have them serve as ushers or junior attendants, but if they’re close to your age, definitely give them the full-blown honor. And there’s nothing stopping a bride from making her brother a bridesman or a groom from making his sister a groomswoman!

Emphasize Reliability

While you may not need your bridesmaids or groomsmen to participate too much in planning your wedding, there will be moments when you’ll need to know you can count on them. If your friend almost never calls you back, or constantly shows up late when you have plans, they may not be the right person for the job, especially with bridesmaid dress-order deadlines and tight timelines the day of your wedding. Instead, lean toward friends you know will answer your emails, show up when you need them to (or a few minutes early!) and probably be more prepared than you (hello, bride brain!).

Consider Personalities

Before you send out those “Be My Bridesmaid?” gifts, think about how your wedding party will get along. That doesn’t mean everyone has to be the best of friends, but if one person on your list has a stronger — or even abrasive — personality and tends to rub people the wrong way, that’s potential drama you’ll want to avoid if you can. Instead, aim for a group of bridesmaids and groomsmen who are friendly, cordial, and can transition easily between groups to quickly cross “fights between friends” off of the list of things to worry about on your wedding day.

Be Mindful of Budget

We all know being a bridesmaid or groomsman is expensive. Even if you’re paying for their accommodations or chipping in for the suit or dress, between flights, gifts, and the bachelor and bachelorette parties, the bill can add up. If you know a friend is in a tough spot financially, call them up to talk it over before making the official ask. Let them know you’d love to include them, but also have a few alternative ways for them to be involved if joining the wedding party might be too expensive. Close friends make fantastic readers, give great toasts at the rehearsal dinner, and could also hand out programs or serve as ushers at the ceremony.

Think About Feelings

Sometimes, having fewer bridesmaids or groomsmen is the easiest way to make sure no one’s feelings are hurt. If your choice is between having just your sister and your childhood BFF stand beside you or expanding into two or three friend groups and ten or more ‘maids, the smaller group could save you a lot of stress versus deciding who does and doesn’t make the cut. On the other hand, if you’re committed to the idea of a huge wedding party, and there’s one friend on the fringe, you might be better off including one more than leaving them out.

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Attend the North State Bridal Showcase Jan 27th 2019

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North State Bridal Showcase

North State Bridal Showcase

What Changes Once You Get Engaged

Getting engaged is a huge step in a relationship. You’re making a commitment publicly about your plans to spend your lives together. So, no matter how long you’ve been together or how ingrained your lives are with each other, an engagement is a definite shift. “Getting engaged is a definite change from when you’re just dating, because the relationship has now entered a new phase where both have made the decision to get married,” Dr. Dawn Michael, M.A. PhD ACS CSC, tells Brides. “Not only does it feel different personally, but there is a social aspect to it as well.”

The good news is that so many of the changes that come with an engagement are positive ones. Once the flurry of social media congrats fade and the photoshoots are done, you’re there—an engaged couple. And as Michael suggests, some of them are social—you’d be amazed at how differently society treats you when you’re engaged. But more than that, it’s the changes between the two of you. There’s more pressure once you’re engaged, but there’s also a lot more joy. Here’s what you need to know.

Disagreements Feel Heavier

When you’re engaged, every disagreement can feel more weighted. You’ve agreed to spend the rest of your lives together, so any friction that arises in a relationship can feel like a cause for panic. You want to make sure you’re “compatible not only with their personality, but finances, negotiation about decorating a house, and dealing with each others families,” Michaels says, so it’s normal to be feeling some pressure. Try to stay calm and remember that every relationship, even marriages, will have some disagreements and require compromise. You’re doing fine.

Society Treats You Differently

It may sound old-fashioned, but there is a definite shift in how society treats you once you get engaged. “Society does treat an engaged couple differently than girlfriend or boyfriend because the couple is showing the world that they intend to be permanent, so others will treat the relationship as more serious and may invest more time into the couple,” Michael says. People are more willing to accept obligations you have to your partner or their family and tend to assume you’re a more well-matched couple, just because you’ve gotten engaged.

And People Feel Like They Can Give Commentary

It can be nice to feel like your relationship is respected, but the other side of that coin is people suddenly have a lot to say. About your engagement, about your wedding, about how the two of you interact; once you make your relationship public with an engagement, you may find that you get a whole lot of commentary alongside it. Don’t take it to heart. Ultimately, your relationship is about what you and your partner want—no matter what everyone else has to say.

It Can Feel Like A Rehearsal

Some people find their engagement period a bit surreal—like it’s a waiting room for getting married. “I think that an engagement is the rehearsal to the big event (marriage) and an important step in making a more solid commitment to each other,” Michael says. There’s so much focus on this big event that is going to happen, but make sure that you’re enjoy the here and now.

It Can Be Downright Joyous

Finally, there’s the fact that it can just be one of the happiest times of your life. One of the best parts about being engaged is that it can be the ultimately honeymoon period. Even though it’s, you know, well before the actual honeymoon. You’ve got this amazing bubble where you’ve made a huge commitment to each other and our on cloud nine. If the wedding planning stress start to settle in, make sure you hold onto that joy. Remember that an engagement is just between you and your partner. Focus on yourselves as couple and don’t sweat the small stuff.

Getting engaged is a huge decision—so it’s no surprise that there’s a definite change in your relationship once you agree to tie the knot. You’ll feel a difference in your relationship, but also between your relationship and the rest of the world. The great part is that most of the changes are positive ones, ones that make you feel more intimate and connected. As for the other changes, like your great Aunt Nancy’s sudden urge to tell you when you should be married and ask you invasive question about plan for uterus, well, you can just ignore those. Engagement may be a big change, but it’s still all about you and your partner.

Attend The North State Bridal Showcase on Jan 27th 2019